Top Ten Things We Didn’t Hear at the Debate Last Night

10. Any debate on the silverware pattern for the White House. Don’t blame the Obama’s for this. Hillary started it.

9. Either candidate quote percentages or numbers that any of us have ever heard before.

8. Not one word was ever said about zoning. Oh, I forget politicans can’t say that word.

7. An estimate on the unemployment figures after we make a leaner, more efficient federal government.

6. Music. To go with all the twisting, turning, jumping, and avoiding like you can see in a break dance competition.

5. Either candidate ask to phone a friend. Is it not amazing that these two men are so smart they know the answer to everything without even having to think for a minute?

4. George Bush making a rebuttal to any of the things he has been accused of, even hurricane Katrina.

3. Not a single mention of the nation’s very best festival. Squealing on the Square. It will make you squeal, just not like in the movies.

2. Any mention of White House tobacco policy. Bill and Monica are the last two to be allowed to smoke cigars there. They never actually lit them, but they sure had them smoking.

1. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.