#10… Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
#9… You named your pussycats “Cream” and “Sugar”.
#8… You help your dog chase his tail.
#7… You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
#6… You think Columbia would be a great vacation destination.
#5… You think your hand shaking is a good sign.
#4… You can’t remember the last time you blinked.
#3… You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.
#2… The Scarlet Chord and Steamers has decided to use you as their mascot.
#1… You can outlast the Energizer Bunny.