Top Ten Signs You Should Not Run for Solicitor

#10…You have to wear makeup to cover the number 6 – 6 – 6 on your forehead

 #9 … You have trouble forgetting the time back in 1983 when you were abducted by aliens who did strange experiments that involved the use of what you thought, at the time, was a thermometer.

 #8 … If you have more than 9 missing teeth. This is especially true if a good portion of them were up front .  

 #7 …You don’t really have trouble with the symptoms of colds and flu, but you still insist on having plenty of Sudafed in the medicine cabinet.

 #6 …If your baseball cap has a tin foil lining that you have no real explanation for

 #5… If a hamster was ever involved in a visit to the emergency room

 #4 … If you find yourself having to use more than 9 gas-x pills per day

 #3 …If, on an October evening, your mind longs to be back in Mecca 

 #2 …If, during conversations with you physician, he has ever used the term ‘transgender relocation’ you should probably not run for office

 # 1 … If you’ve ever had the urge to wear pink lacy things, you probably should not submit to a political campaign. This can be difficult before a crude, cruel and volatile public. If you’re a woman, this does not apply to you.