#10… I’m tired of the blue lights, they will all be pink.
#9… Officers will be required to carry a gun, taser, pepper spray and cherry red lipstick #13 on their belts.
#8… Handcuffs will be fur-lined.
#7… It’s about time the LCSO had a theme song. If I’m sheriff it will be sung by Justin Bieber.
#6… The LCSO Christmas wrestling fundraiser will now involve red and green jello.
#5… All deputies will be instructed to be courteous and polite. They will say “Please” and “Thank you” even when busting a meth lab.
#4… As part of our community outreach program we will offer seminars of the proper selection and application of makeup. My female officer must look good.
#3… As part of the employee benefit package all deputies will be given gym memberships a spa packages.
#2… Speaking of a top-heavy administration, I am top-heavy and would look good in the uniform.
#1… I have a gun, I have a badge and I have PMS, any questions?