Top Ten Thoughts on Petitions to Secede

#10…South Carolina does NOT need to secede. We’ve tried that already. Not a good idea. 

 #9 …If Texas should secede from the country, would New Mexico be bumping into Louisiana?  

 #8 …Okinawa will not secede from anybody, but will just flip over and drown everyone on the island.   

 #7 …If Hilton Head secedes from South Carolina, it would become the new state of South Jersey. 

 #6 …Caution: If you sign a petition at the White House web site saying you want your state to secede, is that not like telling them to put you on a list to monitor all our phone calls and email?  If the FBI follows an important General’s romantic emails, you know they’ll want to look at yours! 

 #5 …This is not a problem for people here in South Carolina. Bad people all over the world already have all our personal information, thanks to the State Tax Commission. 

 #4 … If the folks in Maine decide to secede, where will the Bush Family go for their waterfront vacations?

 #3 …If the folks of Joanna secede from South Carolina, do you think Georgia would take them in?

 #2 … If North Carolina should secede from the Union, can we take Charlotte into South Carolina? Its real close, anyway, and we don’t really have a big city in our state now. 

 # 1 …I wonder why the White House actually takes petitions about matters like states leaving the Union. Might be a law, I don’t know.