Top 10 Best (or worst) Clemson/USC Jokes

#10     How do you get a USC graduate off your front porch? 

            Pay him for the pizza.

 

#9       Why did IPTAY offer to pay for a complete renovation of the football facilities at Woodmont High School?

It’s the closest football field to Perry Correctional Institute.  They can use it for practice.

 

#8       Did you hear that Coach Spurrier is only dressing 12 players for tomorrow’s big game?

            The rest can usually get dressed by themselves.

 

#7       Tragedy near Clemson.

A truckload of Clemson fans ran off of the road into Lake Hartwell last night. The two fans in the cab managed to roll the windows down and swim to safety. The ones in the bed of the truck drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down.

 

#6       What will you never  hear a Clemson fan say?

            We have reviewed your application……

 

#5       A Carolina fan got a job at a sawmill.  Just below lunch on his first day, he lost a finger.  His foreman wanted to know how that happened?

He said…….I dunno.  I just touched this big spinning thing like this and…..damn, there goes another one.

 

#4       Why do Clemson fans like smart women?

            Opposites attract.

 

#3       If you see a Carolina player riding a bicycle why should you swerve to avoid him?

            It might be your bicycle.

 

#2       Yesterday they found a skeleton on the Clemson campus.

            It was the 1967 Hide and Seek Champion.

 

#1       Hear about the Gamecock fan who was sentimental about his license plate?

His dad made it in prison.