Top Ten Local News Stories That Have Left Me Wondering

10. Did the patrolman who hit the car in the rear while making a traffic stop get a ticket for following too close?

9. How many Laurens parade entrants will throw candy even when the are told not to.

8. Will Elmo have a stripper pole mounted on his pickup truck and be providing anatomy lessons from the strippers for all the boys and girls?

7. Who will win the rassling match Friday night? I think we all know, but it will be fun. So bring lots of money and toys for kids who need help.

6. Will Randy Steven be one of the mystery rasslers helping the Sheriff? There would be a lot of people pay big money to see Randy in a Pair of rassling shorts.

5. Are the Reindeer they are going to be running thru Laurens again this year going to be led by Rudolph? Or will they make him run backwards at the end of the line.

4. How many times will Randy threaten to tell us why he doesn’t do Christmas? And how many times will he tell us this year.

3. Presbyterian College has named has named a new provost. What the heck does a provost teach? Provosting?

2. Will the recent changes to Laurens City’s trash ordinance refuseing to pick up refuse from refuser’s result in a stinky situation.

1. Why don’t we just plant some more pretty flowers in them fountains? No one can keep them running anyway.