….When You Get A Police Admonition that Next Time that Stump in Your Yard
Catches Fire, You Should Get a Bucket and Put it Out Yourself!
#10…You slap yourself on the forehead and exclaim, “Dang, why didn’t I think of that!”
#9 … One woman can speak to the other on the porch and say “Hey, Claudine, run inside the house and get me a 3 x 5 card so I can write down this important piece of information for future reference.”
#8 … Take another drag on your cigarette and ponder the deeper meanings of fire.
#7 …Look at the police officer and tell him you didn’t ask for his advice. “And, anyway, all I wanted was the fire department, not the po-po.”
#6 …Funny how he asked me to put out the fire, but didn’t ask me to put on some clothing.
#5 …Tell the police officer that, obviously, he didn’t hear the Jimmy Hendrix song “Let Me Stand Next to Your Fire.”
#4 …You could change the subject. Just ask the police officer if he was pulling for the Tigers or the Gamecocks this year.
#3 …You could reply ”You put it out, that’s what we pay you for.”
#2 … If you notice irritation in the police officer’s voice, perhaps you could ask “Have you not been Jellin.’ Here, have a Dr. Shoals insert.
# 1 … Pull out the little baggie from your shirt, then say “Claudine, go get the nice officer some water so he chill by taking one of my valiums.