Top Ten Ideas for the WLBG Float in the Hickory Tavern Parade this Weekend

 #10…We’ve invited Congressman Joe Wilson to ride on our float, and as we pass by the crowds of folks he’ll be yelling to everyone: “You Lie!” In case Joe Wilson can’t be there, we’ve found a ten foot Mickey Mouse Santa Claus in a back room we’ll used as a substitute for the congressman.  

 #9 …We have borrowed a big flat-bed truck that we’re entering in the parade. We could have it feature a display consisting of Randy Stevens, seated on Rusty, revving the engine, and a big 10 foot tall Mickey Mouse Santa riding on the back with him.

 #8 … As a guaranteed crowd pleaser, we could have a pole mounted to the back of a flat-bed truck and around it will be dancing two of the Crab Shack’s favorite entertainers, scantily dressed, and teasing the heck out of a ten foot Mickey Mouse, dressed up like Santa Claus.

 #7 …Maybe we should enter a float in the parade that will feature Preacher Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church protesting our valiant military veterans. Meanwhile, right behind him, a giant ten foot Mickey Mouse Santa Claus is about to kick up off the float and into next year.

 #6 … Here’s a novel idea – a rather simple float – loaded with a bunch of different bushes, and if you look carefully, you can get a glimpse of the very back tail light of the illusive WLBG Van peaking out from behind some of the bushes, right there beside that ten foot tall Mickey Mouse Santa.

 #5 …We’ll have a Giant hot tub on the back of a flat-bed truck with the entire WLBG Team blissfully soaking in the hot suds. And Randy is especially happy, getting a back rub from a ten foot tall Mickey Mouse Santa Claus.

 #4 … We could have a float featuring Jim Sharpton sitting in an easy chair talking with Randy on a telephone, sitting across a desk from a ten foot tall Mickey Mouse dressed as Santa.

 #3 …I really love this idea: A cardboard version of the I-385 toll booth, and we’ll have a ten foot tall Mickey Mouse Santa taking up tolls.

 #2 … A flat-bed truck with two teenagers throwing eggs out to everyone, that’s free eggs, free eggs for all!  Meanwhile, a ten-foot tall Mickey Mouse Santa is also throwing eggs to the crowds gathered along the parade route.  

 # 1 … We’re going to have a convertable Corvette featuring Stephone Woodruff sitting up on the back with a big sign around his neck that proudly states: USC – 27, Clemson – 17. The car will be driven by our very own ten-foot-tall Mickey Mouse Santa Claus.