Top Ten Foods We Don’t Want Donated Today

 

(For the Baptist Crisis Center Food Driveat Valvoline Express Care)

 #10… Sushi. It won’t keep long enough, and we can’t be certain what type fish is in there. We prefer canned goods.

 #9 … That beautiful Claxton Fruit Cake you’ve been exchanging between family and friends over the past 25 Christmases.

 #8 … We cannot receive any fruit cake that fails to pass the brick and anvil test. 

 #7 …Left-over collard greens. We appreciate the thought, but look; we can even see where you took a bite out of that area. 

 #6 … Rainbow Mayonnaise. No colors, please, mayonnaise should be completely white.

 #5  …This year, we can no longer receive Honey Buns that are not in their original wrapping.

 #4 … There’s some question about receiving any food products using turkey. Especially now, when Thanksgiving is starting to become a distant memory. 

 #3 …Oranges you have left over from when you great aunt fromTampa visited last summer. We do not describe that smell as “ripe.”

 #2 … Canned Mackerel that you’ve already opened. I know you didn’t take much out, but still, come on now. 

 # 1 … We regret we cannot accept Canned Possum from the Possum Processing Plant. We still have piles of Possum Pâté Party Platters from last year, which we discovered came from the factory seconds store. It may still be good, but the way they plaster that big “seconds” label all over the can makes even the hungriest of us loose our appetite.