10. The Rat Rod Club with Bible verses on their cars. Really classy flat black and primered rods.
9. The vast array of “classic” cars from the community. Everything for old rusty model A’s to 30′s sedans and coupes to Detroit muscle. Even a little Triumph Spitty (One of my all time favorite sports cars) with so many people in the back that the Leyland suspension had given up the ghost and the tires were almost horizontal.
8. The sweet sweet smell of crushed candy canes and horse manure. The parade was not lacking in the equine department. I think I saw Dusty Dial actually roping kids on the roadside with his lasso. He released most of them and I don’t think any children were harmed in his practice for rodeo competition.
7. Golf carts, ATV’s, Side-by-sides and wagons all slap full of grandkids and great-grandkids and…you get the picture. The next generation that I hope will keep this crazy little parade going for years and years to come.
6. Roadsides and yards covered with 4×4 trucks caked with mud but with clean white letters and sparkling rims. Looked like the parking lot at Darlington…and smelled like it too.
5. Vehicles from the Sheriff’s Office, Western Laurens Fire Department, Hejaz Outhouse #2 Hillbilly Cars, etc. that are helping to legitimize the event. ( I left out the Waterloo Fire Department vehicles because I don’t think any of them boys actually have licenses and I don’t want to get them in trouble. But they were there and proudly part of the parade.)
4. Will “Santa” Culbertson slowly stripping off his Santa suit while travelling down the parade route to the horror of the children. At one point he ducked behind the walls of the infamous “Mt. Olive Critter Control” truck to pelt folks with candy.
3. Jason Bagwell’s home-made pontoon fashioned from 30 gallon drums, plywood, rusty roofing tin, duct tape and plastic erosion barriers. It was complete with heat pump fans as motors and a pot bellied stove. Two lady folk with bikinis over their clothes were skiing behind it on roller skates. (Watch out for the horse manure and candy canes.)
2. The Mt. Gallagher Community Kazoo Band, led by Maynard Henderson(carrying a shotgun) and featuring the talents of Maj. Chris Hudson and Rev. Marcus Bishop playing his 5 gallon bucket. The way they were dancin’, I’m convinced there were some Holiness folks mixed in with all them Mt. Gallagher baptists.
1. The Duck Dynasty float featuring Rodney Boiter as “Willie Robertson” along with the whole cast of the #1 show on cable tv. They blew their duck calls all the way down the parade route and not a single duck flew in. The three turkey buzzards, although good eatin’, don’t count!
ON A SERIOUS NOTE: My roots in Western Laurens County run very deep, from my Culbertson and Mitchell lineage to my Mattison lineage of Broadmouth on the county line. My late aunt, Jennie V. Culbertson, once told me “Our sweat and tears are in this soil” and although my physical body has been known to wander, my spirit always remains in this community I love so. And events like this little parade remind me why I can never leave. Wyatt Mattison, WLBG Manager.