Top Ten Stops We Suggest for the Laurens Trolley Ride this Weekend

Carefully Orchestrated to travel from West to East, Unlike the Wise Men

 #10… The water tank on West Main Street in Laurens. The CPW is helping the Laurens Recreation Department in a dubious effort to dress up some of the buzzards there as if they’re carolers, serenading the tour from their perch atop the tank.  They’re cute, but don’t sing well. No harmony.

 #9 … The Liquor House – you know, the one that’s open on Sundays, but doesn’t have a red dot

 #8 … The Octagon House, where we’ll visit the entrance to the secret tunnel

 #7 … The Trolley will then drive by a house on Fleming Street where a 1949 ford is still propped up on blocks. Only, this time of year, it’s loaded with Christmas lights!  

 #6 …A tour of the no-tell motel. It’s going to be a quick stop, though; because we only have the room rented for 20 minutes 

 #5  …The tour then detours to Joanna for a drop-in party at the Possum Processing Plant. Preachers will be on hand to pronounced blessings for the parade 

 #4 … For children who take the tour, there is the Joanna Water Tower Bungee Jump. We don’t recommend this for adults, the rope looks a bit weak for a lot of weight, but we understand children really love it! 

 #3 …As a tribute to the pioneers who settled our area, we’ll visit a relic of centuries past, a grizzled old man who still works hard as a possum trapper. A rare and disappearing breed, Randy!     

 #2 …Almost to the Finale, we feature a festive holiday tour of the old Joanna Mill. Unlike years past, there will be no steps to climb this year. For extra special appeal; while there, we’ll be serenaded by that classic country music band Uncle Jeddidiah Jones and the Joanna Loom Fixers. Not all the original members, given the toll time has taken.

 # 1 …Elmo’s Crab Shack, where Big Bertha Butts is dressed up light Pelzer Light People to entertain everyone for the holiday. (Do they still do that in Pelzer?)