Top Ten Medical Experiences You Do Not Want to Have

#10…You do not want a colonoscopy administered by a doctor whose degree is from Ralph’s Medical School of Pascagoula, Mississippi. He may be able to do the job, but we understand they never taught the technique of sedation.

#9 … It may be too late, but you may regret having a procedure when the last thing you see before going under is two nurses pointing at you and laughing. It’s hard to heal when you’re humiliated, Randy.

#8 …You do not want to even receive medical advice dispensed by a Doctor whose best friend is Johnny Walker Jim Beam or Jack Daniels. 

#7 …You do not want an eye exam by an Ophthalmologist with Parkinson’s

#6 …You do not want to have probes attached to your body by a Doctor with Turret’s’ Syndrome.

#5  …You do not want to take your child to a Pediatrician who dresses like a clown, because some children are afraid of clowns. Just ask Wyatt if you don’t believe me.

#4 … You do not want the services of a Chiropractor named Rick Flair

#3 …You may not want to be treated by a Doctor named Barney Frank.

#2 … You do not want to be fitted with a new hearing aid by an audiologist whose favorite music is heavy medal or punk rock.

# 1 …Any experience involving the extraction of your fingers by a log splitter; however, we understand the Laurens County EMS did a great job handling just such an emergency near Gray Court yesterday.