Top Ten Reasons Wal-Mart Banned a Woman & Her Husband

A woman who loves shopping at Wal-Mart has been told to not return. The store cited many reasons, all related to activity of her husband, who tends to get bored just shopping.

 #10…Last Valentines day, your husband took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they were not looking. 

 #9 …Last September, your husband hid in a clothing rack and when people walked by, he said ‘pick me, pick me!”  

 #8 … On October 21st, he took a fake severed hand from our Halloween display and placed it under some frozen chops in the meat department.   

 #7 …During the height of our big Black Friday After-Thanksgiving sale, every time we made an announcement on the Public Address system, your husband would lay on the floor, assume the fetal position and scream ‘Oh No! its those voices again!”

 #6 …December 1st, he set up a tent in our camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

 #5  …December 15th, while handling guns in sporting goods, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants are. 

 #4 …December 21st, he darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme. 

 #3 …Christmas Eve, he went into our auto service department where he began practicing his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sized funnels.

 #2 … New Year’s Eve, he tried to put a frozen pork chop on lay-away.

 # 1 …January 2nd, your husband made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s rest room.