Top Ten Indications You May Have a Problem with Self Control

 #10… If you have a tattoo that states “never settle anything with words that can be settled with a flame-thrower,” then perhaps you have a problem with self-control.

 

#9 …  If you have ever attempted to hire a hit man because of something someone said about your mama, then you may just have a problem with self control.

 

#8 … If you have ever thrown a 20-ounce Wild Cherry Pepsi bottle through the window of a radio station, you may have an issue with self control.

 

#7 …If you have ever expressed your frustration by speaking for eight minutes without using any words other than profanity, you may just have a problem with self control.

 

#6 …If you have ever released your frustrations by throwing a quart of frozen hash at a loved one, you may have an issue with self control. 

 

#5  …If you have ever broken your foot by attempting to kick a smart-aleck cat, but missed and hit your car’s bumper, then you very well may have a problem with self control. 

 

#4 …If you have ever attempted to get a driver’s attention by kicking their door very hard with a steel toed boot, then you, too, may have a problem with self control.

 

#3 …If you have ever bumped another car’s rear bumper, and pushed it past the drive-through window because they were taking too much time putting away their change, you may have a problem with self-control.

 

#2 … If your car has a bumper sticker that says “I have PMS, don’t mess with me,” then you probably have some issues with self control.

 

# 1 …If you have ever been arrested for your alleged involvement in a “Face – Mushing” incident at the Bingo Game, you may a problem with self control.