Top Ten Reason a Woman would Chase a Man with a Pair of Pliers

 #10… Perhaps she was planning to inflict some intense pain on her boyfriend by grabbing him where it really hurts!

 #9 …You know, in his rush to run from the alleged assault, perhaps he unintentionally left his pliers behind and she was just trying to return them to him.  

 #8 … It’s irritating to listen to someone whine about a problem, but not do anything constructive about it. Perhaps he had been complaining of a toothache, but would not go to the Dentist.

 #7 …Perhaps Baby’s Daddy had been saying he couldn’t repair that annoying leak at the kitchen sink because he couldn’t find his pliers.

 #6 … After watching the news on TV, he had turned to her and said “Why don’t they let the President have all those new taxes he wants so badly?” We’ve always been told that there are dangers of discussing politics.

 #5  …Perhaps this woman has Toolus-Obscessious. It’s a more-common-than-realized syndrome where people become obsessed with tools. They’re frequently seen hanging around the jockey lot. They also tend to gather anywhere the Snap-on tool truck shows up.

 #4 …Maybe it’s the Baby’s Daddy that has a psychological condition. I’ll bet he’s suffering from Plier-a-phobia.

 #3 … Maybe the woman was just upset because he had not properly tightened the seal on her new toilet!

 #2 … I bet they were watching the news on TV and he commented on Sequestration. Randy, She thought he had asked for castration, and way trying to oblige him. 

 # 1 … One can’t help but wonder if perhaps this couple had just watched an old documentary about the Lorena Bobbitt incident up in Virginia.