Top Ten Places to Hide from Cops (Other Than Under a Mattress)

 #10… In the powder room of the India Palace.

 #9 … I understand a good place to hide on a moonless night is in the fields near Gray Court. We understand that no one wants to go out there at night. I really don’t know why.

 #8 … In an abandoned car on the banks of Lake Greenwood. I understand the best hiding places are on the Laurens County side.

 #7 …In the old card room at Lydia Mill.

 #6 … In the evening gown section of your local Wal-Mart

 #5  …In the Sushi Section at the Hub.

 #4 … Under a Laurens CPW water tower. Even if the cops see you there, with all the buzzards on top of the tower, the cops are not going underneath to get you.

 #3 …In the WLBG staff Cafeteria on Collards Night. That stuff makes Randy unbearable. 

 #2 … In the prayer chapel of the Joanna lodge.

 # 1 …In the Textile Heritage Museum, inside the Clinton Municipal Building. However, it’s imperative that you don’t have a copy on your heels as you run into the building.