#10… Wal-Mart. The rule should be: If you weigh more than 300 pounds, you should have it covered.
#9 … Elmo’s Crab Shack. This where the strippers, especially, need to be fully clothed. Perhaps suggestive clothing would be OK.
#8 … Church. Don’t you think Tank Tops should be out? Yes, even if someone does have a cross tattooed across their belly.
#7 … Driving in a Convertible: For women only – they should not wear dresses that are predisposed to be blown up, revealing unmentionables. Many a wreck has occurred from this.
#6 … The Runners at the Little River Bridge Run. We think we need to ban short shorts. I know long pans are not aerodynamic, but those short shorts are revving up the engines for some of our dirty old men.
#5 …Johnson Detention Center: They already have a jump suit they fit everyone in, but it looks too much like Clemson orange for me.
#4 …Day Care: We believe that naval rings should not be worn at Day Cares. Not by the caregivers, and not by the babies, either. It just doesn’t seem right, somehow.
#3 …Polling Places: Folks should dress appropriately to go vote. Women with revealing outfits can distract a man from his intentions. We could even have Republicans voting for Democrats. With enough sexy women dressed alluringly, we could have our ‘hanging chads.’
#2 …TV studios: Women who are there to appear on television should be required to either wear tops with higher necklines. With the new HD TV technology, everything shows. And all that plunging necklines in High Definition is a bit too much for some of us older guys with bad hearts!
# 1 …Tattoo Parlors. From what I’ve been seeing lately, even women in brief outfits seem to have a lot more of the tattoo left under their clothes. So someone must be removing practically everything for the tattoo artist. It just doesn’t seem right, somehow.