Top Ten Blonde Man Jokes

      by: Jan

 # 10. A friend told a blonde man that Christmas is on Friday this year, the blonde man replied, ” I hope it is not on the 13th.”

 # 9. Two blonde men find three grenades , and they decide to take them to the police station. One asked,” what if one explodes before we get there?” The other said, ” we’ll lie and say we only found 2.”

 # 8. A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said,”Close your curtains next time you and your wife are playing around, the whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.” The man replied, ” well the joke is one you cause I was not home yesterday !”

 # 7. A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts,” did you find the shampoo ?” He said ” yes but I don’t know what to do, it says for dry hair and mine is already wet !”

 # 6. A blonde guy takes his goldfish to the vet. ” I think it’s got epilespy.” The vet takes a look and says it seemed calm to him. The man says ” wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”

 # 5. A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and the contractions are only 2 minutes apart !” Is this her first child asked the doctor ? ” No he shouts, this is her husband !”

  # 4. A blonde man’s dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife tells him to put an ad in the paper and he does. 2 weeks go by and no word. Wife asks what he said in the ad and he says, ” Here Boy .”

 # 3. A guard looks in the cell of a blonde man and sees him hanging by his feet. ” Just what are you doing he asks. ” Hanging myself said the man. It should be around your neck said the guard. ” I tried that he says, but I couldn’t breath !

 # 2. A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat. On the envelope it says,” DO NOT BEND !” He spends 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

 # 1. A tourist asks a blonde man why scuba divers always fall out of the boat backwards. The blonde man says,” if they fell front-wards they would still be in the boat !”