Top Ten Ways Local Cops Got a Woman to Not Resist Arrest
#10… They finally shared their donuts with her
#9 … Maybe they promised her if she calmed down they’d let her stay here and help with the Wattsville Community Clean-up June 8th.
#8 … They promised that if she would behave they’d let her ride in one of the Sheriff’s Patrol Golf Carts. Everyone loves to ride in a golf cart, and theirs has a siren!
#7 … Perhaps they were able to get her to take a few slow, deep and allow her mind to rest, then go to that tranquil place where butterflies gracefully flutter over a field of colorful flowers. Who can be upset with a view like that, Randy?
#6 …Maybe she started to behave after she got excited when they suggested that with her ability to slip out of handcuffs, she could sign on with Penn and Teller.
#5 ..They threatened to bring in the clowns if she didn’t behave.
#4 … They promised to get a waiver and let her sign up late for Laurens Idol with her magic act of slipping out of handcuffs
#3 …You know, colors play a big part in our moods, Randy. Perhaps they brought out their pastel pink paddy wagon to haul her to the detention center.
#2 …Perhaps she finally calmed down when they used fur-lined handcuffs that were more tender to her skin.
# 1 …That tazer probe that struck her rear end probably helped to get her attention.