# 10. Call your grown kids to see where they are, this always helps. If they don’t answer, start crying.
# 9. Walk from room to room looking out the windows and blow real hard, you might just blow the storm away.
# 8. Watch the birds, if they are flying upside down, the wind is really bad.
# 7. Play the radio real loud and maybe you won’t hear the thunder.
# 6. Look at your animals, if they are getting under tables, then you need to do that too, if you can find one that is big enough.
#5. Remember stop, drop, and roll ? Yeah, well that don’t work in a storm.
# 4. If all else fails, give your Mother a strong nerve pill and put her to sleep.
# 3. Watch the weather channel on tv until your cable goes out, then get your weather band radio out, plug it up, and by the time you find the right station the storm is over.
# 2. Go to your bathroom and sit on the toilet. I have seen devastation in whole towns and houses completely torn apart but the tiolet always makes it through.
# 1. If you live in a mobile home and have seen and heard all the warnings, but you continue to stay there, then get in a corner, crouch down, put your head between your legs as far as you can, and kiss your butt goodbye.