Ten Things To Say When Stopped By The Police.

 By Jan

# 10. If you are pulled over for going the wrong way on a one way street, and the officer asked ,” did you not see the arrows ?”. Tell him you didn’t even see the indians.


# 9. For speeding you can tell  them that you took a laxative and have to speed to find a bathroom, they might believe it.


# 8. If you are going way over the speed limit, and stopped by a highway patrol, just say ” A highway patrolman stole my ex wife a few years ago and I was just afraid you were bringing her back.”


# 7. When stopped for running a red light just look really bewildered and ask your friend riding with you,” Was I driving ?”


# 6. When he tells you to get on the car, ask him if that means to crawl on top of the car.


# 5. An open and empty beer can is found in your car, just tell the police you keep it there for your little boy to pee in.


# 4. They find the little garden where you have planted pot. Look real crazy and say,” that man in Fountain Inn told me that I would get great tomatoes from these plants !”


# 3. When they ask to see your license just ask which one, driving, fishing,to carry a gun, or license to vote….oh wait, you don’t need a license for that.


# 2. If they ask you why you were going 76 miles an hour in a 50 mile an hour zone, tell them you saw a sign that said highway76 and you thought it was the speed limit and you are sure glad they didn’t see you when you were on highway 101 !


# 1. They ask you why you did not stop 2 miles back when they had the blue lights and siren going. You just get mad and say, ” what difference does that make now ocifer ?”