Top Ten Worse Weapons to be Hit With in an Assault

 Part Two from the Files at WLBG News

#10…A bed pan, with fresh deposits making it a weapon of biological destruction

           — all the more reason for folks to be friendly when visiting hospitals

 

#9 … A heavy glass ash tray, as reported on this morning’s news 

 

#8 … A commode plunger…even worse when freshly used….it does psychic damage!

 

#7 … A pickup truck – fortunately, most of the time this is used more as a weapon of threat

 

#6 … A frozen turkey…..remember the horror when WKRP dropped those turkeys in Cincinnati. A butterball is a terrible thing to throw. 

 

#5  … A big porcelain Santa Claus. Built to be a cookie container, it doubles as a deadly weapon

 

#4 … A big ole bottle of cheap cologne….After the initial pain of impact, the horrible smell that follows is even worse! That stuff is formulated to stay with you all day, just like skunks and onions

 

#3 … Four Words:  Mad Dog 20 / 20

 

#2 … A big gallon mason jar full of pennies….the coins become shrapnel when the glass breaks on impact

 

# 1 … A Quart of Frozen Hash …. no one is yet to improve on this Joanna invention!