Top Ten Distorted Proverbs

# 10. A fart in time saves nine gas pains.

 # 9. A dream deferred is like a turd dried in the sun.

 # 8. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, yeah, well Jill ain’t too happy about that either.

 # 7. An apple a day makes you buy more toilet paper.

 # 6. As you make your bed, so you must lie upon it, then you gotta make it up again !

 # 5. Bad news travels fast, but gossip travels faster than sound.

 # 4. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he sits in a boat and drinks beer all day.

 # 3. It is better to have loved and lost than to live with a female dog the rest of your life.

 # 2. It is no use locking the stable door after the horse has bolted, to me that means it is no use to zip your pants after your willy has already been seen.

 # 1. Love your neighbor, yeah, well I tried that and it made his wife mad !!