Top Ten New Hospital Rules

by Jan


# 10. You always wanted to be a number 10, well now you can, matter of fact you will be a higher number. No name, just a number.


# 9. Have you ever wondered how it would feel to spend the night in a very expensive room ? I think you are just before knowing, but without the king sized bed.


# 8. Since they got such a great deal by just assuming the debt of the Laurens hospital, wonder if they would take over our debt to the hospital, Don’t hold your breath or you might be staying in one of those rooms.


# 7. Oh now I bet we get to travel to take the test we used to take at Laurens. You know, in Greenville they have such better and more sophisticated equipment, and with gas prices so high, but don’t worry, it’s just a hop and a skip ya know.


# 6. With our doctors around here retiring because of Obamacare coming in, we are going to be seeing new faces with names we can’t pronounce and barely be able to understand what they say. They might say pee in a cup but you think they said hold your butt up.


# 5. I bet Elmo can’t just waltz into the E.R. with some of his girls and get them seen quickly any more. They gonna have to take a number just like all the rest, but maybe they can put on a show for the people in the waiting room, make it interesting ya know.


# 4. Maybe we will get a coffee machine again at the hospital, haven’t had one for some time now. That is why when you go to E.R. you see people sleeping, get some coffee to wake them up.


# 3. With your first visit you get a 20 % courtesy charge, and with a doctor referral you get a free pair of used rubber gloves.



# 2. Your 10% rate hike can now be taken right out of your bank account, no need to worry about collection agencies any more.


# 1. Already heard of a man refusing to get his temperature taken with the old kind of thermometer in his mouth. He had just seen the nurse rectally take it from the man beside him. She told him not to worry because she dipped it into a solution of 70% alcohol. He said “ yeah but that was 100 % butt you had it in!”