Top Ten Reasons the Open Door Ministries Should RETHINK Having Randy Stevens MC their Annual Banquet Tomorrow Night

#10…Two Words:  Dress Code

           I still shudder at the memory of co-hosting a Relay for Life with you and seeing you walk up on stage with a T-shirt featuring a big tin can labeled “Whoop…$#8&!”

#9 … Then there is that T-shirt you still wear sometimes that has a crude way of promoting breast exams

#8 … You expressed concern about race relations earlier on the show today. I’m afraid someone will walk up to you tomorrow night and welcome “whitey,” prompting you to   say “that’s ‘Mighty Whitey’ to you, punk!”

#7 …Randy, the $20 for ticket is to be a donation for the work of the Open Door Ministries. They’ll not make any money by having you there. Rev. Brewington has obviously never seen you eat.   

#6 … The 1st Presbyterian Life Center sits on the edge of one of Clinton’s most  beautiful, peaceful residential neighborhoods. They don’t need the racket your motorcycle is going to make hauling your big butt in and out of there.

#5  … Randy admitted here today that he has watched  some of those horrible video games that give points to how many people you kill. What if he has a flashback reaction tomorrow night at the banquet?!

#4… There was a big state dinner in Japan years ago where US President George H.W. Bush became ill and created quite a spectacle in front of everyone. Well, I’ve heard some of Randy’s jokes and I’m afraid they’ll be a bunch of people getting sick tomorrow night!

#3 …I understand they’re going to have music at tomorrow night’s program. I shudder at the thought that you might launch into your “sing-along” modes.

#2 … We hope that Randy will be in a bad mood tomorrow night, strange as that may sound. See, if he’s in a good mood, he’ll be smiling a lot. And, well….he rides the motorcycle everywhere, a big smile shows off all the bugs stuck to his teeth.

# 1 … Rumor has it that Randy is going to the India Palace for supper tonight. That means he will be a walking hazardous waste zone all day long tomorrow.