Top Ten Industrial Plants the Chinese Should Bring to South Carolina

 #10…Three words: 4th of July. We need our own Chinese Fireworks Manufacturing Facility. It’s gonna be big!

 

#9 … Perhaps they’ll put in a Panda Breeding Clinic. Only the Chinese know how to make this work. We don’t seem to know how to get these animals bred here in the US.    

 

#8 … We can support a scientifically acclimated facility to grow bean sprouts.

 

#7 … We need a Dollar Tree Plant and it should have a massive Dollar Tree Outlet next door. We’ll call the outlet store the 50-cent tree! 

 

#6 … They need to build a dye-making plant that specializes in making dyes for dog hair. Then, when the Dog Pound gets a dog in that is of a color no one will adopt they can dye it’s hair to a more acceptable hue. Human Hair dye is called Grecian formula – we’ll call this  Fido Formula

 

#5  …The Chinese need to build a plant in Clinton to manufacture over-size wreckers. They’ll make big, giant wreckers that can tow a train away when it breaks down and blocks the Ring Road just as kids are headed into school. They’ll hook up to that train and clear the tracks letting parents into Eastside Elementary.

 

#4 … Perhaps the Chevrolet plant that was moved from Detroit to China can be now moved to South Carolina. Imagine getting a new Chevy without “Made in China” stickers on it.

 

#3 …As popular as blue jeans are here in America, why not move a Blue Jean plant from China to Laurens County. There’s one or two buildings still left of the old Clinton Mill. Think of all the shipping costs we’ll save!

 

#2 … Woks are more and more popular as American’s discover the joys of stir-fry. Who better to manufacture these clever cookery items that Chinese. Let’s let the Chinese put a Wok factory here in South Carolina.

 

# 1 …With all the pine trees we have growing around here, why don’t the Chinese put in a Chop Stick factory. Everyone will love the chop sticks made of loblolly pine. We could do a high-end chop stick made of southern-grown black walnut! A more luxurious wood has never been found.