Top Ten Things Not To Say Or Do To Your Lady

# 10. If your lady is 9 months pregnant and in labor, don’t tell her you can get her to the hospital quicker by using shortcuts on your motorcycle.

# 9. Do not tell your wife for her birthday you were going to get her diamond earings but decided she would like a new, state of the art fishing rod instead.

# 8. When she asks you if her little black dress still looks good on her, don’t say yes from the front but from the back it looks like 2 bull dogs fighting under a blanket.

# 7. If they ask you how you like their new hair style, do not say you can’t tell the difference, it still looks the same.

# 6. Don’t tell her that this food tastes almost as good as when Mom makes it.

# 5. Whatever you do, never tell them to pull your finger !

# 4. If they are going shopping please wave to them with all your hand, not just the one finger wave !

# 3. She asks you to stop at the store and bring home some peach ice cream. You get her low calorie peach yogurt and tell her she needs to lose weight.

# 2. Do not load her phone with texts, don’t call her excessively, and by all means do not leave a bag of human feces in her drive way.

# 1. Guys make sure that you know if the baby is a boy or a girl before you let her eat chicken wings. I hear this has an effect on the length of things.