Ten Things Your Government Will Find Out About You

By Jan Fullbright

# 10. What kind of flour do you use to make biscuits, plain or self rising. Self rising might make them biscuits too big and make your bossy look like Michelle’s.

# 9. Beware of what you text to other people, they can see it, like when you text sweet little notes to someone. Guess what, the whole country is going to know that you call him or her “Honey Buns!”

# 8. You think you can keep it a secret that you are expecting…..think again ! Your government will know it before the test turns the right color.

# 7. Got a cut on your finger, they will know what your dna is, how many stitches it took,if you got a prescription,when it will be healed, and if you paid cash or had insurance, all before you leave the doctor’s office.

# 6. If you live in Clinton, don’t try to hide them chickens, they got the chicken squad to keep a close eye on these things. Can’t hide the eggs either, they will know time the eggs hit the frying pan.

 # 5. Think it’s a secret that you watch your good looking neighbor cut grass with out his shirt on….Nope, Nancy Pelosi has been watching him for years and she knows you do too.

# 4. I bet they can tell which super dog jumped the fence with a single bound and got your FiFi pregnant.

# 3. So you had a garden this year. Don’t think you can put up too much food cause they will know and say you are hoarding and take it away.

# 2. Do you hang your under garments on the line to dry…..bet they can tell you what size they are, where you bought them, how much you paid for them, what color they are and how long they will last seeing as how they have to stretch to fit over your large behind.

# 1. They can now tell how many cows were serviced by your  new Angus bull and why his feed tastes like peppermint.