Top Ten Ways to Eat an Elephant

#10… We understand the trunk can be sliced into big do-nut rings that, when properly fried, have a taste and consistency much like giant calamari.  

 #9 … Grind up the flank steak and mix in some Clemson blue cheese and we understand an Elephant burger is better than sex. Just good, clean, wholesome sex, Randy, not that nasty stuff you’re thinking of.

 #8 … Elephant BBQ – Look for the “Plains of Kenya” booth at Squealin’ on the Square next week”

 #7 … We understand that Elephant Vandaloo is quite popular in some regions of India, yet doesn’t have the negative consequence of Chicken Vandaloo that we’ve witnessed so often here at WLBG after Randy’s visit to the India Palace.

 #6 … Two words: Powdered Sugar. The chef shakes it on  elephant pancakes. One elephant ear can make several dozen of these delicacies.

Just add powdered sugar and you’re of into la-la land. No need to add butter because of their own natural fat.

 #5  … Elephant Sushi – add a bit of rice and a hot sauce and your taste buds will zing! Plus, with all the leaves elephants eat, consider the benefits of chlorophyll.

 #4 … Elephant Broth – If chicken soup is good for your soul, think of how beneficial elephant broth would be. Just add some potatoes and carrots, and a couple big onions, and you’ve got a meal to feed the while village. Really good, and healthy, too.

 #3 … Country-Cured Elephant – Take a small tail section, about the size of a large ham. Get a green one- fresh out of the jungle, rub it in salt, wrap it in cheese cloth, tie it tight then put Borax on top. Hang it for a year or two, checking from time to time to be sure the ants or maggots haven’t gotten in – then after a year or two, you’re talking delicious. 

 #2 …Elephant Steak – you think a beef porterhouse is big? Even the rib-eye or sirloin from an elephant is giant in comparison. Do a deep char on the outside, and the inside is absolutely delicious. I think most folks cut off the ugly outer edge . 

 # 1 … Elephant Tacos – something our Hispanic friends will love. That crunchy corn taste of the Taco really blends well with the essence of elephant.