Top Ten Things To Do In Laurens If You Are Bored With What You Are Doing

By Jan Fullbright

# 10. Ride around and see how many meth labs you can find but don’t stop because it is dangerous to smell that stuff. Seems there is a lab on every corner these days.

# 9. Watch your neighbors in a cuss fight with sign language also, then hear one of them declare to an officer that the road in front of their house is their property.

# 8. Follow 4 Clinton men while they bag a gator weighing over 500 pounds and measuring 11 foot, 6 inches. I don’t know about you Randy, but I cannot think of a bag big enough to hold that gator.

# 7. Listen to the runoff election for Clinton mayor. McLean out in front, Danny Cook coming in with a close second. Just one more vote to decide y’all, one more, come on now, step up !

# 6. Listen to all the ways that Emil is going to cook and serve elephant meat. I bet he eats possum and frog legs too !

# 5. Look at the Laurens County most wanted pictures and info. One of them says male, approximate age,height,and weight. No color of hair or eyes but there is a picture of him, now why could they not get the color of hair and eyes from the picture, and if they could snap a picture of him, why didn’t they arrest him then ?

# 4. Watch a wrecker pulling a very torn up van and on the back of the van a sign that reads,” How’s my driving”, then gives a number to call, duh !!

# 3. Search your new tv for the eye the government is using to watch you. When you find it, walk up to it and strip, just see if you are on the news the next day and if they saw where you have a mole on you somewhere.

# 2. Follow the chicken checkers around in Clinton and see if they can really count how many chickens people have. Wonder if they are allowed to have a laughing rooster like Randy has.

# 1. Get your video camera out and come along with the repo man. Be sure to get footage of the 2 men throwing rocks and bricks at the wrecker towing off the re-poed¬†vehicle. Get a good shot of the burgundy Buick¬†that tried to run the repo man off the road and actually ran into the vehicle being towed, but the buick had too many other dents in it so they couldn’t tell if it had a fresh one or not.