Top Ten Changes with the Government Shut-Down

 

#10…You know this closes the National Parks. So we can’t go see the ancient rocks at the Grand Canyon or the trees of the Okefenokee Swamp with the Spanish moss sagging from their limbs; but we can go to Elmo’s Crab Shack in Joanna and see things that are very old with features that are sagging. 

 

#9 … Elmo Arbogooble is Offering Guided Tours of the Congaree National Swamp, below Columbia, while the Park Service is shut down. He’s offering to take folks deep into the swamp for no charge. We suspect there will then be a heafty toll extracted for customers wanting to get OUT of the park.  

 

#8 …Think of all the great talking points this is giving talk radio, Randy. This stuff can go on for weeks, as long as someone doesn’t unintentionally actually agree with the other side and get the government back to work.  

 

#7 …Two words, Randy; Silver Lining. With no government, can we not conclude there are no taxes to pay? After all, there’s no one there to receive them, so why send ‘em.

….Which leads me to another two words: Check Kiting!

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#6 …Why not have folk music singers do a ballad about “The Day our Government Shut Down.” Throw in a few references to drinking and a cheating wife, and you’ve got a smash country music hit, too!

 

#5 …We can finally identify with the poorer nations of the world. With our government shut down, we can now better identify with some of the 3rd world countries that never have had a properly operating government.

 

#4 … Here’s great news, Randy. We can slip into the Great Smokey National Park and feed bears all we want to, now. No more pesky rangers to interrupt this thrilling, joyful experience.

 

#3 …Think of all the extra fun you and the little ones can have in the Grand Canyon now. With no rangers, just sneak in and you can go wherever you want, lean over the rails and look thousands of feet to the bottom. Why, there’s no one to stop you if you want to take a whiz off the side of the canyon. 

 

#2 …This is the perfect time to visit Washington, DC. No need for guided tours of our capital building. Just sneak in and guide yourself, look through any unlocked files and find out all kind of stuff. Carry and camera with you and have your significant other take you picture stilling in the Speaker’s chair. Ladies, wear your sexiest tank top for this shot.