#10…She has such a nice personality – Explanation: This is not someone who need bother entering a beauty contest
#9 … She is Dog-Choking Ugly – Explanation: This is someone you could not even SMUGGLE into a beauty contest
#8 … He’s a Little Light in the Loafers – Explanation: Guys, don’t worry about this fellow stealing your girlfriend
#7 … I’m fixing to do it – Explanation: No, I haven’t done what you asked me to, but let’s just pretend I am about to do it
#6 …He is a few bricks shy of a load – Explanation: We’re not talking ‘gifted and talented’ here, folks
#5 …She is a ‘full figure’ woman – Explanation: There’s just a lot more to love… a whole lot more!
#4 …This is such a quiet, peaceful town – Explanation: There’s nothing to do around here but sleep
#3 …You need to check the water quality index before swimming – Explanation: This lake is just one step from being a full-blown cesspool.
#2 … I only had a couple of beers – Explanation: Someone, please, make the world quit spinning. What day is this, anyway?
# 1 … Your check is in the mail – Explanation: I’ve got to remember to avoid you in the future.