Top Ten Activities Inspired by Various Adult Beverages

You are what you eat – But what you drink can impact what you do.


#10… A fine Tequila, such as Patron, makes folks want to listen to Jimmy Buffet while sitting on the back porch in a loose-fitting shirt plastered with pictures of palm trees.


#9 …  We realize a popular song recently said that Tequila make her clothes fall off, but our research indicates that Jagermeister is really what makes ’em peel off their threads.


#8 … Drinking Dos Equis makes me went to Climb Mount Everest, and to sit around acting cool while beautiful women hang on to my every word. If I drink a few of them, I can sometimes actually imagine it happening!


#7 … Ripple make you want to sleep under the overpass.


#6 … Chugging down a couple six pack of Bud Light makes you want to crawl into a stock car and race around Laurens County Speedway in the dirt.


#5  …Having a cup of Bailey’s Irish Cream with your early morning coffee while petting your well-groomed Golden Retriever can lead to an urge to sick the dog on passing motorcycles.


#4 …If you’re fortunate enough to have had some homemade Apple Pie Moonshine given to you; after sipping from the quart jar, you may find yourself on top of the Joanna water tower, regaling the community by loudly singing “Amazing Grace” from the top of your lungs. Consume enough of the Moonshine and you may also get up the nerve for an exciting bungee jump.  


#3 … Going through several cold cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon while eating spicy, hot chicken wings and watching the game with you buddies can lead to communal urination on the lawn.


#2 … Mixing Boody Marys,  Champaign Punch, home-made egg nog and margaritas during the family Christmas gathering leads to urges to head out to the Quick-Pack Store and buy more cigarettes, tampons and fake snow then come sing “Felix Navidad” as the lights come on. 


# 1 … Apparently, as we learned from an incident last evening outside the Wal-Mart Distribution Center, if you polish off a bottle of Barefoot Bubbly Pink Muscato, you have an overwhelming desire to hurl chunks of asphalt through the windows of a Ford F-150 Pickup. They need to include that on the warning label.