Top Ten Alternative Explanations for the Swerve a Woman Made

 (Woman arrested last night after allegedly swerving and driving past a house where Deputies were making Drug arrests)

#10… She had just heard a Bing Crosby song on the radio. He was singing “White Christmas” and it moved her to tears, as always happens. It’s hard to drive straight when you are all blurry-eyed. 

 #9 … Four Words, Randy: Possum in the Road 

 #8 … She was swerving to miss a Golden Retriever. Randy, surely you can understand this.

 #7 … Wrong address. She was looking for Fresh Eggs!

 #6 …Two Words: Wet Pavement. I believe if we check we could find a little bit of rain fell out north of Ware Shoals last night.

 #5  … This all started because that woman had failed to take our Governor’s pledge. Turns out, she was actually texting while driving!

 #4 …. Moonlight. Moonlight I suspect she had heard about a dead skunk in the road and was swerving at shadows in the road at sight of a shadow. 

 #3 …Superstition. She saw a back cat cross the driveway she was about to enter and knew better than to continue across that path.

 #2 … She was still suffering for a bad night’s sleep. Then while driving down the road she remembered hearing about the Mattress Warehouse and she suddenly swerved to turn and head to the store in Laurens. 

 # 1 … Restless Arm Syndrome.