Top Ten Inadvisable New Year’s Resolutions

 #10… We don’t suggest you resolve to smoke a joint of marijuana every week. This is not Colorado.    

 #9 … No matter how you may be tempted, and how distressed your financial situation is, you should not resolve to save money this year by purchasing your electronic equipment at the Anderson Jockey Lot. 

 #8 … It is not a good idea to resolve to make regular weekly visits to Elmo’s Crab Shack every weekend. The Affordable Health Care Act Doesn’t Cover complications from that sort of thing.

 #7 … It may be a good idea to resolve to exercise more often here in 2014, but we don’t recommend you resolve to do a bungee jump from the water tower in Joanna; no matter how many of your friends are doing it.  

 #6 … A resolution to drive down Laurens’ Pinehaven Street with an open container of Budweiser light in your car….this can lead to no good.

 #5  …We here at WLBG suggest that your resolutions not include adding a cruise to Antarctica to get a close look at the allegedly melting ice shelf. 

 #4 …You should not resolve to react to every heavy rainfall by hiking down the Laurens Little River Walking Trail. We all love the trail, but it gets rather squishey with heavy rain.

 #3 … We don’t suggest you resolve to roll your own – without the assistance of Prince Albert.

 #2 … Thanks to Jim’s call this morning that reminded us of one resolution you should not make.

Do not make any resolutions to eat a lot of Wisconsin Cheese, even if the Gamecocks did defeat the Badgers in the New Year’s Bowl Game. Constipation is NOT your friend.

 # 1 … It’s inadvisable to resolve to send flowers to your girlfriend on special occasions and charge them to your wife.