#10… Letterman is a democrat. 

#9…   It’s a conflict in scheduling. 

#8…    A phone call with the Prime Minister is sufficient when it comes to the Iranian Nuclear Threat. 

#7…    Contrary to the press, there was never a meeting with the Prime Minister. 

#6…    Obama needs advice from Letterman onIran’s nuclear threat. 

#5…   The Prime Minister is a Jew. A good Muslim isn’t going to sit down with a Jew! 

#4…   Obama wants to send the message to Israel,Iran is not a threat. 

#3…   The Prime Minister offered to come to Washington but Obama is in the middle of a campaign. Plus it conflict with his Letterman interview. 

#2…   Letterman’s more fun, let the Prime Minister meet with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. 

#1…   American foreign policy. Ha, foreigners don’t vote but Letterman has viewers that do!

#10… Illiterate? Write today for free help. 

#9…   Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. 

#8…    Stock up and save. Limit one. 

#7…    3-year old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred. 

#6…    Used Cars; Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first. 

#5…   Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. 

#4…   For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. 

#3…   Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it. 

#2…   Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 

#1…   Our bikinis are exciting. They are the tops!

 

#10… “Have a surplus? Try a tax cut.”

Show me a surplus. Better yet show me a tax cut! 

#9…   “Deficit too high? Try another”

How many deficits does this country need? 

#8…    “Feel a cold coming on? Take two tax cuts, roll back some regulations, and call us in the morning!”

Still waiting to see the tax cuts. 

#7…    “Now I won’t pretend the path I’m offering is quick and easy. I never have. You didn’t elect me to tell you what you want to hear”

He’s gonna lie anyway 

#6…    “We don’t want handouts for people who refuse to help themselves and we certainly don’t want bailouts for banks that break the rules.”

We just gonna give them welfare and continues to bailout the banks. 

#5…   “America I never said this journey will be easy and I won’t promise that now.”

Let’s give him another 4 years.

#4…   “We won’t turn back. We leave no one behind. We pull each other up.” 

Welfare for everyone! 

#3…   “More droughts and floods and wildfires are not a joke. There is a threat to our children’s future. And in this election you can do something about it.”

Does he think he can control Mother Nature? 

#2…   “The path we offer my be harder, but it leads to a better place. And I’m asking you to choose that future.”

Really do we need to choose another 4 years?

#1…   “Now, I’ve cut taxes for those who need it.”

Really? What about the tax if you don’t purchase health coverage?

#10…  You can now get a bacon sundae. 

#9…    We have Justin Beiber and he’s now of age. 

#8…    Freedom of religion has taken on a whole new meaning, just look at the DNC. 

#7…    You now need a photo ID to vote. 

#6…    The welfare system has had a boom in business as well as unemployment offices. 

#5…   Homeownership has become big business for banks. 

#4…   The increase in reality shows you can watch since you’re stuck in your rent
assisted apartment, eating from the dollar menu because your minimum wage isn’t
enough to put gas in your car to go anywhere! 

#3…   Chairs are finally being appreciated for their many uses.  

#2…    4 years ago Obama stood for change. Now, people are standing around asking for change. 

#1…   Health care for everyone or else you’re going to pay a heavy tax.

#10… You only buy from Gateway, ‘cause the cow boxes are cool! 

#9…   Your PC Games collection consists of nothing but Bass Fishing tournament games.

 #8…   Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spit can. 

#7…    You had to move over your computer desk so it didn’t block the velvet picture of Elvis. 

#6…    Your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5” disk drive. 

#5…   Your spell checker knows words like, “Ya’ll”, “Yonder” and “Reckon.” 

#4…   Three words: Daisy Duke Screensaver! 

#3…   You refer to your computer as “Ole Bessie.” 

#2…   You wire your network with jumper cables. 

#1…   Your spouse said it’s either him or the computer and you still don’t miss him!

#10… An Oak tree on the ground looks four times bigger than it did standing up. 

#9…   Have an evacuation plan; grab some beer and run like hell! 

#8…    When house hunting look for closets with lots of leg room. 

#7…    At some point you may have a tree in your house. 

#6…    Days off work. 

#5…   Gasoline is a value at any price. 

#4…   Last minute shopping in crowded stores. 

#3…   Candlelight is better than Botox, it takes years off your appearance. 

#2…   Buying food you don’t normally buy in large quantities. 

#1…   No matter how hard the wind blows roadside campaign signs will survive.

#10… Next mood swing: 6 minutes! 

#9…   If you are what you eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy! 

#8…    Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time. 

#7…    Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths? 

#6…    You have the right to remain silent so SHUT UP! 

#5…   All stressed out and no one to choke! 

#4…   I’m multitalented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time! 

#3…   Don’t start with me you will not win! 

#2…   Sorry if I look interested, I’m not! 

#1…   

     A…. I’m one of those bad things that happens to good people.

     B…. I’m Dangerous!

.

#10…Moms cry on the first day of school. Yes, tears of joy! 

#9…   Moms don’t mind taking you to school when you miss the bus. Really, I’m going to embarrass you by wearing rollers in my hair! 

#8…    Moms love all the afterschool activities. Having dinner at 8pm followed by 4 hours of homework, yea! 

#7…    Moms can’t wait to pack your lunch everyday until we die! 

#6…    Moms like helping you with your homework, what? I barely got through algebra in High School and you’re learning this in 6^th grade! 

#5…   Moms love filling out all that school paperwork! How many trees are you gonna kill for me to give you the same information every year? 

#4…   Moms like open house. Really, you’re the teacher, i’m the parent and my child is either gonna to be smart or dumb! 

#3…   Moms like school shopping. Are you kidding me so I can rack up $200 on junk I already have lying around the house? 

#2…   Moms like buying hand sanitizer and Ziploc bags for school, When did they start this? When I was in school we didn’t need all this. When did kids get so germy? 

#1…   Moms miss their kids when they return to school. Really?

#10… I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs! 

#9…   Smile you’re on candid camera! 

#8…    Try not to smear my makeup. 

#7…    I hope you’re as good-looking when I’m sober. 

#6…    On second thought, let’s try it with the lights out! 

#5…   Do you accept Visa? 

#4…   But whipped cream makes me break out. 

#3…   A little rug burn never hurt anyone. 

#2…   Can you please try breathing through your nose? 

#1…   Everybody looks funny naked!

#10…  Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on COPS? 

#9…    I’m trying to outrun that radio signal that’s playing that Spice Girl song. 

#8…    Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me. 

#7…   Weren’t you Poncho on CHIPS? 

#6…    I thought you had to be in good shape to be a cop? 

#5…   Which is more expensive a speeding ticket or trunk full of weed? 

#4…   Your gut doesn’t inspire too much confidence; I bet I can outrun you! 

#3…   Why don’t you go home and beat your nightstick! 

#2…    I can’t reach my license, can you hold my beer? 

#1…   I pay your salary!