#10…It cuts down on sick days because you can work with a hangover.

#9…   It makes the day more interesting. 

#8…    It reduces stress. 

#7…    It’s an incentive to show up for work. 

#6…    Emil would be more apt to give raises if he had a couple of drinks. 

#5…   It increases carpooling. Jobori would be the designated driver since he isn’t of drinking age. 

#4…   It makes your coworkers more attractive. 

#3…   It leads to honest communication. 

#2…   You work better with a buzz. 

#1…   It makes dealing/working with Randy more enjoyable..

#10…  Always order sweet tea and grits, if they don’t have it raise a ruckus! 

#9…    When giving directions finish with its right down yonder on the left, this confuses the hell out of them! 

#8…    Refer to every soft drink as a coke! 

#7…    Insist on being address by your first and middle name like Jim Bob or Carlie Sue. 

#6…    Use the word reckon and watch their expression. 

#5…   Tell them you don’t have an accent they do! 

#4…   Never simply do something, be “fixin” to do something! 

#3…   Use yes sir/ma’am and no sir/ma’am, offends the heck out of them! 

#2…   Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. Let them know you are either a Clemson or Carolina fan. 

#1…   Frequently bring up The War of northern Aggression. If anyone tries to say it was the Civil War tell them there was nothing civil about it!

#10… The time it takes the sales associates at PRTC to wait on customers. 

#9…   Wyatt’s corvette, now if he’ll let me see what that sweet car can do! 

#8…    4G phone service from PRTC, now that’s fast!. 

#7…    Me on my way to work, I’m the black flash usually because I’m always running late. 

#6…    The money in my bank account, now that disappears fast! 

#5…    The cell phones at PRTC because of the great deals they are going fast. 

#4…   The girls at Elmo’s Crab Shack.

 #3…   The prizes at PRTC, they’re going fast. 

#2…    Emil Finley, when the fit is on. 

#1…    Internet service from PRTC, come in today for a free speed upgrade!

#10…  Why do I have to brush my teeth, they are going to fall out anyway! 

#9…    My younger child tells her older sister, “If you don’t clean up your room they will put us on a TV show and call us whores!” She was referring to the show Hoarders!

#8…    “Mom, why do you have those lines on your face?” 

#7…    ”How come your boobs are so low when you wear your nightgown?” 

#6…    Royce grabbed my hand before crossing the street and said “I’m practicing being a girl scout and helping the elderly cross the street!” 

#5…    “Are we there yet?” If asked enough times this statement guarantees a new high-tech gadget for the next road trip. 

#4…   They don’t have to say a thing; they burst into laughter when they see me naked! 

#3…   When walking through the wine section at the grocery store she says, “Look at all the mommy juice!” 

#2…   When Jac was young we called armpits, monkeys. Well we had company one day and she felt the need to tell them “Daddy has a hairy monkey but mama shaves hers!” 

#1…   “You know Dad you should just do what Mom says, she’s always right anyways!”

#10… You look forward to the show ending so you can go to the Mattress Warehouse and take a nap! 

#9…   Your coffee winks at you because it is so strong. 

#8…    You don’t notice the phone lines blinking. 

#7…    News headlines aren’t posted! 

#6…    Jobori uses WLBG for personal shootouts, I think he’s trying to pick up a girl! 

#5…    Emil Finely is calm.. 

#4…    I’m late for work because I get stuck behind an 100 yr old man driving 35 mph in a 55 mph speed zone. 

#3…   Randy and Emil are on top of the latest breaking news and doing a fine job at it! 

#2…   I forgot to put on my deodorant and it’s going to be hot today! 

#1…   Jobori gets the fear of jail put in him by a prank caller!

#10…  Stripper for Elmo’s Crab Shack, you just need to be 18 or 80 according to Randy. 

#9…    Flipping burgers at The Hub. 

#8…    Wyatt’s personal car washer. 

#7…   Sale hair care products like Rogaine to Emil, Randy and Simms.   

#6…    Ice cream cone dipper for McDonalds. 

#5…   Work with Randy Stevens at WLBG, but you must wear a red shirt on Friday. 

#4…   Bed tester at The Mattress Warehouse! 

#3…   Ice shaver at Icee Island, just watch out for the little black poodle! 

#2…    Selling fashionable suit to Rev. Simms, he is one sharp dressed man! 

#1…   Emil Finley’s personal assistant aka as the fax machine catcher!

#10…  Don’t read and ride. Go to the library if you want to read that book! 

#9…    Ladies do your makeup at home, you look like a clown! 

#8…    10 mph under the speed limit is to slow. Either move it or get off the road. 

#7…   Quit cutting others off in traffic. Wait your turn! 

#6…    Stop tailgating; I’m not going to go any faster with you riding my tail! 

#5…   Get off your cell phone and pay attention! 

#4…   There is a reason they have painted 2 yellow lines in the center of the road. If you
don’t know get a handbook! 

#3…   It is legal to make a right on red but you must stop and look. Don’t pull out into
oncoming traffic! 

#2…    A stop sign means STOP! 

#1…   Come on people use your turn signals and if you don’t have any use hand signals.

#10…  During the previews yell, “Can you fast forward it?”

#9…    Make a noise like you’re passing gas and say, “Ahhh.”

#8…    Say, “oooooohhh” during the kissing scenes.

#7…   Throw popcorn in the air and yell “It’s snowing!”

#6…    Wear a top hat.

#5…   Use a whoopee cushion, enough said!

#4…   Don’t allow anyone to sit next to you by telling people that seat is taken by your
invisible friend!

#3…   Scream out, “Hey this isn’t Bambi!”

#2…    Make finger puppets in front of the projector.

#1…   Hum the theme song of the movie as loud as you can.

#10… Yo mama so lazy she thinks a  two income family is where yo daddy has 2 jobs!

#9…   Yo mama so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up! 

#8…    Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bath water!

#7…    Yo mama like spoiled milk, fat and chunky! 

#6…    Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you can hear the ocean! 

#5…    Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarter back is a refund. 

#4…   Yo mama so stupid she puts paper on the television and called it paper view! 

#3…   Yo mama so poor she waves a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning! 

#2…   Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to be baptized!

 #1…   Yo mama like cake mix, 15 servings per package!

#10… Play hide & seek with all my friends at night at LDHS. 

#9…   I want to go bungee jumping off a low bridge. 

#8…    Drive race cars at Frankie’sFunPark. 

#7…    A new laptop because I broke the other one. 

#6…    A new IPhone because I broke my other one. 

#5…   I want to drive Wyatt’s corvette as fast as it will go. 

#4…   I want to drive Bryan Bentley’s boat on the lake again. 

#3…   I want to be President of Laurens,South Carolina. 

#2…   Punch all my rude customers in the face and get away with it.

 #1…   A.  Giraffe back riding all around town.

             B.   I want to join Randy’s motorcycle gang.

             C.    I want to perform with OUTSHYNE.